How ladies can save on perfume!

Perfume costs too much; men like cars; use Penzoil!

Best diet tip!

If you want to really lose weight, forget the Hollywood diet, Jenny Craig or grapefruits; get food poisoning. I ate bad shrimp; a sure bet for food poisoning and didn't eat for a week!

How to save on lubricant?

Buy crude oil and refine it yourself!

How to get rid of telemarketer?

Ask them, “what are you wearing?”